Canaries In Coal Mines

by Helicopter Crash Scene Stunt Double

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about

all songs written, performed, recorded, arranged, produced, "mixed", and "mastered" by Helicopter Crash Scene Stunt Double

credits

released August 7, 2014

thank you to Jessie Hoe for backup vocals and harmonies on MFFS, and to Mitchell Lincoln for running the session while I played drums for MFFS

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Helicopter Crash Scene Stunt Double Salt Lake City, Utah

I'm Taylor and I fucking suck

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Track Name: My First Funeral Suit
i am ashamed and unforgiving for having ever doubted you
you were still breathing when my father took me to get my first funeral suit
barely coherent, barely alive
we had so much in common at that time
while you were on your death bed
i was still trying to get out of mine

but i want to live
i want to be selfish
i want to feel human again
i want to feel my heartbeat somewhere other than my head

i want to live
at least for a little bit
i want to live
even if i dont think i deserve it

you should have seen my father
who i hardly even recognized
and god knows me and my funeral suit were still so angry at the time
but as he spoke to a room full of strangers
with a crack in his voice and his softer side
we all put forth our best efforts to hold ourselves together that night

but i want to live
i want to be selfish
i want to feel human again
i want to feel my heartbeat somewhere other than my head

i spoke at your service
where i gathered the courage to speak with conviction
for the hundreds of eyes laid upon me
scripted words of god and forgiveness
where everyone listened to me
for a brief moment i believed in a heaven
i wanted to scream
"im not as strong as the rest of the family"
Track Name: Blood
i was a nobody when i was born and i'm a nobody now
i used to be such an angry kid, but i've been cooling down
all of the damage that was done to me
i dished it right back out
and all of the people that i let get close
well they're gone now

i used to have so much love to give
but my heart has much more blood than love in it
i'm not as scared to say that i'm leaving
as much as i'm afraid to admit that i want to
i want to

i had nobody when we moved away
and i have nobody now
ive destroyed so many satellites
that i've lost count
ive been burned by so many cigarettes
that i nearly burned down
and i'm the son of such wonderful people
its a wonder that it didnt get passed down

i used to have so much love to give
but my heart has much more blood than love in it
i'm not as scared to say that i'm leaving
as much as i'm afraid to admit that i want to
i want to

i was throwing my love away
when i should have been giving some back to you
Track Name: Second Wind
i've been to hell and back looking for those that i put there
you were a single breeze in the heat that came and went
i am allowed to feel the way i feel
some say i might even deserve it
hold on a minute while i wait here for my second wind

i wish i knew what to say
but i am just not that wise
i doubt the water behind these ears will ever dry
and im begging for the patience to get through one more week
but im addicted to sleep aids and i still can't sleep

our bodies never tangled
we didnt fit quite right
we just smashed together like two atoms over california
destroying everything in sight
Track Name: Canaries In Coal Mines
you and i
canaries in coal mines
a small but worthy sacrifice, protecting those inside
if i have to sing, for you to know that i'm alive
that's fine

you and i
canaries in coal mines
its dark in here but all we need is a little bit of light
if i can't sing
i'll sit here in silence just like the generation before me
Track Name: Duck And Cover
for all i know you're a monster
for all i know you're a chemical
i can breathe you in like asbestos
and exhale smoke

i know first hand my addictions
for all i know you're a druuuuuuuuuuu(g)
well you never keep in contact
and i can barely hold my tongue

when everybody's got someone that they can talk to
but we don't talk to anyone
i'm alone almost always
and all i have to is leave
but i wont

for all i know you're a monster
for all i know you're the devil himself
you could feel exactly the same but i could never tell

i never thought it'd be easy
this is not what i expected at all
for all i know you're carbon monoxide
because our canaries just aren't singing anymore

well you vanish as quickly as you show
i know this is nothing new
even if i had a choice i wouldn't try to stop you

you'll come back a second time around
i'll take whatever i can get
my heart is saying "duck and cover"
but nothing's happened yet
Track Name: Parts
an unknown amount of me is never really certain of anything
i know i'm a piece of shit
but i've made peace with it
long before you ever met me
i'm not a writer, nothing better than a child who traded in his old Legos
for some shiny new letters
and in the same way i can continue to piece them together

i know that you think that you know me
you only see what i want you to see
you only know what i want you to know
i am always one step ahead
i admit i am fragile
but i am well protected

what the fuck are we doing?
is this really who i am?
god knows that i'm just trying to make as few mistakes as i can
but i'm not always in control of them